


Bitches Ain't Shit

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humanstuck, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 06:44:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/884177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Karkat and Aradia go get ice cream together</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitches Ain't Shit

You always thought your first date would be a little awkward. That’s really just how things go with you, isn’t it? You get carried away with your emotions (usually anger, but today its anxiety) and it messes things up for you. That was how you expected this afternoon to end.

Then again, things never go quite the way you expect them to either.

It didn’t feel like a date, not even at first. Aradia was the one that picked you up, as she always did when you called your time together “hanging out”. Neither of you were over or under dressed. Conversation was easy. Really, there were only two differences between the last time you went shopping together and this time. First, she took her hand in yours and laced your fingers together as you walked and talked. Second, you insisted on buying her one of those sunhats that caught her eye, and she wore it out of the shop with a grin.

Then she says, “How about we go get ice cream?” and though you can’t tell if she’s legitimately hungry or just doesn’t want to spend any more of your money, you agree. Together you head back out to her car and solidify your plans along the way.

“I don’t know about you, but I think we should go to a proper ice cream place,” she says.

“Agreed.” Not that you know anything about ‘proper ice cream’ but you’re not exactly picky about where you eat. “So…Haagen Dazs?”

She cocks her head as she considers. “We could go there. But I think Dairy Queen is cheaper, and I like Coldstone better.”

You shrug. “I’ve never been to Coldstone. Let’s go there.”

Her eyes widen, and you know she’s considering teasing you, but she decides to let it slide. Maybe because you bought her that hat, or probably because you’ve just reached her car and she has to let go of your hand to get her keys.

The drive is mostly silent as the radio comes on with the engine, and you’re busy trying to remember how to get to Coldstone from the mall in case you want to come back. Your concentration proves to be unnecessary though, because the place is just down the road from where you leave the mall.

“How did I not notice this place?” you say to yourself, but as usual your company assumes you’re talking to them.

“I don’t know, you never were all that observant.” You pout at her, and she smirks back. Pulling her hat down with both hands, she steps out of the car. God dammit, if she weren’t so adorable. Blushing and muttering about cheeky broads, you climb out as well.

You’re over it when she picks up your hand again and leads you into the ice cream shop. Surprisingly, there’s nobody else there. It bothers you a little bit when Aradia pulls you over to the menu and you have no idea what to get. The workers behind the counter aren’t saying anything, but keep looking over at you expectantly.

Fuck it, you’ll just get whatever she gets. She’s got decent taste.

You stare at her until she makes a decision and glances over at you. “Ready?” she asks. You nod, and she pulls you forward with her. Before the girl behind the counter can get a word out, Aradia orders a simple ice cream cone, chocolate chip cookie dough flavor.

You say “Same for me,” and a second worker steps in to start making another one. Meanwhile, you follow Aradia to the register as a third employee is already ringing up your order. She digs through her purse, presumably for her wallet (which makes you think more that she doesn’t want you to spend any more money). You’ve got your debit card out by the time you reach the end of the counter.

But she doesn’t even pay attention to the transaction. She finds her wallet and pulls out a few dollars, then drops them in a tip jar you noticed but didn’t note.

And then they all start singing.

_“Bitches ain’t shit and they ain’t sayin’ nothin’_   
_a hundred Baskin Robbins can’t tell me nothing_   
_ice cream on the cone, ice cream on the cone_   
_and tips in the jar, tips tips in the jar.”_

Aradia giggles and you look to her for an explanation. “They have to sing whenever they’re tipped,” she says.

Wow. That’s just cruel. They’re creative with it, but still. “Are…they even allowed to sing shit like that?”

“Probably not, but they do it anyway if the manager isn’t around.”

“That’s why you prefer this place, isn’t it.”

“Partly, yes.” Her sweet smile grows wide and, frankly, a little creepy. “I love embarrassing them.”

You take a moment of silence to shake your head. “You’re pure fucking evil.” (You choose to ignore the fact that none of these particular employees seem embarrassed, meaning her leaving tips probably doesn’t have the effect she wants.)

At that moment you’re both offered your ice cream cones, and Aradia grabs both. “You love it,” she says, and she turns on her heel toward the door.

God. Dammit.

You follow silently, and you’re glad you’re behind her because you’re sure you’re blushing. That is, until she gets close to the door, and you have to rush awkwardly to open it before she gets there. She beams at you even as she licks one of the cones. She takes a seat at one of the tables on the sidewalk. You pluck your ice cream cone from her left hand and sit across from her.

You taste it carefully and immediately cease to be a moody little shit. “Oh, this is really good,” you say, and you bite into it with your lips covering your teeth. Aradia laughs at you for making a mess of it, but doesn’t tease you any further.

You’re both silent as you eat. She mostly sticks to licking hers, while you mostly bite out large chunks. You quickly discover that the cone is really good too, whereas usually it’s kind of shitty. You don’t really pay attention to your pace. You just want to enjoy your ice cream and watch Aradia enjoy hers.

Your enjoyment comes to a halt with a pressure in your temples.

Swearing loudly, you rest one hand on the table with the rest of your ice cream and try rubbing your temples with the other. To your fury, you hear Aradia giggle again. “Brain freeze is what you get for eating so quickly.”

“Yeah, well, you could have said something.” Your rubbing thing isn’t working out anyway, so you drop it and start glaring at her. “Oh wait, sorry, I forgot that you get off on pain and suffering.”

She manages to calm down after that. “Sorry. It’s just that you’re a cutie.”

You blush again, and you hope it comes off as annoyance. (You doubt you have any such luck, judging by that smirk.) “I’m not. You’re just a freak.”

She doesn’t seem disturbed. She just moves her chair around the table a bit to sit closer to you, and she grabs your free hand. “You’re a freak,” she says, but she squeezes your hand.

You don’t have a response, really. You squeeze back, and you let your head fall on your forearm. As your breath warms the temperature in and around your mouth, the pressure begins to fade. Still, you keep your hand linked with Aradia’s until it’s gone, and for a while afterwards.

When she softly says “Karkat?” you finally lift your head. “Your ice cream is melting.”

Sure enough, it is. You’ve stopped caring about it a little though. You kind of feel betrayed by it. Brain freeze will do that to you. “You want it?”

She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head. Dammit, she’s so. “No, thanks.”

“You’re fucking adorable.” You say it before you can really think about it. She gives you a bashful smile and looks away a little.

“ _You’re_ fucking adorable.”

“ _You’re_ fucking adorable.”

She laughs again, and presses her new hat down on her head. You know if she hadn’t been wearing it, she’d have run her hand through her hair. “Shut up, Karkat.”

You decide to oblige her, for now, and bury your face in your arm again so you can enjoy just sitting there and holding her hand again. That’s a nice feeling that you’ve decided you really like. Judging by the way she keeps initiating handholding, she feels the same. As you slip back into a comfortable silence, you think you could slip into a comfortable relationship with her too.


End file.
